REPOST: TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS

ORIGNIAL POST: JUNE 5,2013

Every little girls dream is marriage and when we were in middle school talking to our girl friends about it by 25 we had it all. We were married, great job, and kids. In 2013 oh how that has changed.  Now don't get me wrong it is possible and some have achieved this little girls dream but the closest to me. NOPE.
Anyway I always like to look back on things I write years ago. It helps me understand me better. A constant theme in my writing is LOVE...well more so HEART BREAK. I'm telling you like back to the first grade I'm thinking about LOVE. I'm writing poems in the 3rd grade comparing the Titanic ship sinking to how my heart felt when the boy I liked got a new GF. Now although I wrote about the "HEART BRAKE" there was always a piece about putting it behind me, learning from it and moving on. It's almost like at least in that area of my life that was my story. Dust yourself off and try again. This happens to most ppl. I don't know many who get it right the first time or even the tenth!  For the most part through out the years thats what I did. It was easy until my last battle with the idea of LOVE. I will call it idea because real LOVE is happiness. I wrecked my brain trying to figure out what was so great about this person because when you looked at the facts I was only completely happy for a short period of time. I believed in the person, I believed in us but whole time He believed in himself.
I wrecked my brain trying to figure out why this person would play. Say things that they don't mean, argue with me if they didn't care. That was enough for me to believe there is something still there. My soul was continually challenged because actions or should i say lack of actions were not enough for me . In my eyes this person is my friend at the end of the day you don't just do your friends any kind of way. You don't do the ppl that show you they would stand by you in the hardest situations any type of way. A friend does not take advantage of your weaknesses. In Reality this person did not care about me being a real friend to them because in this world They feel they only need themselves. They might have appreciated the help when you gave it to them but now it holds no value because they feel at the end of the day they don't need you or anybody else.  People are not going to consider others feelings and people will make decisions based off their benefit. Always take control of your emotions, once you allow some else to control your emotions that is when you spiral down. Whole time I was wrecking my brain I had the answer. These are the conclusions I had to make. If you are still uncomfortable with the conclusion you have to draw you can not worry about the what if. If the conclusion is wrong and that person cares to correct you they will. Not when you want them to but in their own time. And Trust me by that time you will not be effected.
 -My passion is often mistaken for dramatics.